


the things that never happened

by nanasekei



Category: Oxenfree
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance, Teen Romance, Time Loop, Weird Plot Shit, general time fuckery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 18:32:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13347054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanasekei/pseuds/nanasekei
Summary: Every time, he is the most infuriating person Jonas knows.Every time, Ren notices his eyes change colors.





	the things that never happened

Ren is usually the last to remember. There are variations, sure, but the order usually goes: Alex (she’s always the first), Jonas, Nona, Clarissa, and then him. Sometimes, he doesn’t remember at all, and it’s kind of confusing to watch everyone around him get that morbid look on their faces after just a couple hours on the island. In those times, the brownies take a while to wear off, and when they do he spends half an hour wondering if it’s all just a bad trip he’s having. Then, at the boat, he starts reading and suddenly it’s like his voice belongs to someone else, like he’s hearing himself saying those words from very, very far away.

Ren is usually the last to forget.

-

Jonas remembers when Alex does, mostly. He doesn’t really know why or how, but once he sees her face twisting with the expression of a terrible realization, it hits him, too. It always sucks, his head hurts and he feels like throwing up. He usually manages to keep it together, though, and he tells Alex, _We will figure it out this time_.

Jonas is always wrong.

-

Most of the time, they don’t get along. It’s not immediate, though, not always. They start out just fine, Ren babbling away and Jonas just nodding to most of what he says while watching Alex from the corner of his eye. Ren talks a lot, and for Jonas it’s always too much, but he never wants to be rude so he holds back his tongue and just humors him. It seems to work, but then there’s the cave and the radio and Jonas feels so scared he doesn’t know how to think straight, and watching Ren talk about brownies as if it’s all just a weird tale they can tell later at school always pisses him off. He gets angry and then he snaps, calls him a burnout, says it’s all his fault – and then Ren says it’s actually _his_ fault and that stings, really, because Ren doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about and Jonas has been trying to help Alex the best way he can and he’s just an useless idiot.

Then – it depends. Sometimes Alex takes his side and he sees the hurt in Ren’s eyes flash for a quick second before he just sulks for rest of the evening. Other times, she takes Ren’s side, and he feels betrayed even though he shouldn’t, really, because of how close they are. Most of the time, though, she tells them both to shut up and asks Nona to come with her to look for the key. Jonas gets pissed, Ren gets pissed, and they both sit there in the world’s most awkward silence while waiting for them to get back.

Sometimes they apologize to each other. Other times, they don’t speak at all.

-

Ren is usually the last to remember. So for him it’s all just a fun night, really, and he wants everyone else to think so too, so he tries really hard, in the beginning, to get everyone at least slightly excited. Alex is usually on board, except when she gets that sad look on her face as soon as he asks her to get the radio. Alex’s step-brother seems cool, tall and handsome with dark-green mysterious eyes, but he also seems like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world than there at the ferry with them.

At first, Ren thinks it’s probably some cool people thing, how they always seem too cool and mysterious to be having fun, but the way Jonas hesitates a bit before answering his questions and looks at Alex from time to time tells him that he’s nervous - and he’s a tall, handsome guy with a cool beanie and cigarettes, so if he’s nervous, Ren kind of gets nervous too, by default, so he makes sure not to let any awkward silence linger between them. Most of the time, it works, and they make nice conversation until the boat reaches the island, and in the few times his jokes actually land Ren notices Jonas has kind of a dorky laugh that doesn’t really matches his cool everything-else. It’s shy and cute and it makes his green eyes sparkle lighter.

-

Jonas remembers when Alex does, mostly. So it’s usually pretty early – sometimes when they’re still at the ferry, and other times when they set foot on the island. He looks at her and she always has that tired but determined look on her face, and he decides not to say anything right away. He glances over at Ren and he always seems normal, with that silly smile, excitedly talking about the awesome night they’re about to have.

Ren talks a lot, and for Jonas it’s kind of nerve-wrecking to watch, really, because he can barely keep up with what the guy is saying most of the time. He talks and makes jokes and gestures a lot with his hands, as if all those words he’s babbling still weren’t enough to express all he wants to say. He’s kind of funny and kind of annoying, and Jonas finds himself focusing on his voice and his happiness and ignoring the horrible sense of dread stepping into the beach gives him. Sometimes, it works.

-

Sometimes they apologize to each other. Ren usually breaks the silence with a stupid joke and Jonas kind of has to laugh, because it’s a dick joke and they’re in the Dick Harden Tower so it is funny. And Ren watches his laugh and feels himself blushing, and looks away and says he’s sorry for the brownies, really, but he’s feeling _super sober right now, capable of acing a math test, running a marathon, and discovering the cure for cancer - not necessarily in this order_. Jonas rolls his eyes – light green because he just laughed, Ren notices, and he decides he likes them better that way – but he apologizes too, says he’s just nervous about the situation and ended up taking it out on Ren and _it wasn’t fair, really_. He pauses for a moment and then continues on to say, _you know, you’re kind of right, it was my fault_ – but Ren interrupts him right away, tells him _no, dude, I was just being a jerk_. And Jonas looks at him like he isn’t sure he’s being honest but Ren continues and says _the only ones at fault here are the ghosts_ , and they’re going to get what’s coming to them once they’re all in the ferry going back home, safe and happy. He’s not sure why he doesn’t really feels very sure when he says it, but he holds Jonas’s gaze and says _really, dude, don’t worry about it_.

Then Jonas smiles at him - a full, honest smile - and Ren feels like he’s just eaten another brownie.

-

Most of the time, they don’t get along. Jonas is stuck-up, Ren is annoying, and neither of them get what Alex sees on the other one. They bicker, then they fight, then Alex leaves them and they don’t speak. Jonas smokes a cigar, Ren silently judges him, and, for once not because of the ghosts, both of them regret ever coming there in the first place.

-

Alex’s face twists and she looks like she might vomit. Jonas watches her and a moment later it hits him and he’s shaking, wanting to cry and run away and beat his head against a wall, all at the same time. Ren doesn’t get it and just keeps talking, and Jonas focuses on whatever silly crap he’s saying. He watches Ren’s back and notices how the messy blonde curls come close to touching his neck, and he feels the weird urge to hug him by his back and bury his face there and not let go for the rest of the night.

-

Ren is usually the last to remember. So at the tower, he doesn’t really get why Jonas seems so weird all of a sudden, yelling at him and frantically looking for a cigar in his pockets and just generally freaking out. Sure, it’s all very scary, but it’s going to be ok, isn’t it? They have a plan, and it’s a good plan, even if Jonas doesn’t trust it – or, to be more precise, doesn’t trust him. This pisses him off, really, but looking at him now, Ren can tell he’s nervous – and he’s a guy who seems to know what he is doing, so if he’s nervous, Ren kind of gets nervous too. He wants to fill in the silence, so he makes some dick joke that’s not even one of his bests, and Jonas looks at him sadly, with dark-green eyes that make Ren’s stomach twist and his heart hurt for a moment, even though he doesn’t understand why.

-

Sometimes they apologize to each other. Jonas says it first, because it’s so stupid, to keep fighting over this, even though it never really matters. Ren listens to him and nods, then spends the longest time Jonas has ever seen him in silence, and asks if it’s true Alex said he’s annoying. And Jonas feels like shit and tells him _no, not really,_ Alex was obviously joking and she clearly cares a lot about him. Ren seems skeptical for a moment, but then he shrugs and smiles and Jonas marvels at how easy that smile is, how it keeps coming back no matter what, as simple and certain as anything else could ever be.

Then Ren stands up and walks towards him, sits next to him like they’re the best of friends now, and tells him _you know what, that isn’t even the weirdest thing me and Alex have ever done together_. And Jonas scoffs immediately, because he has to, and Ren laughs and says he swears, it’s true! And he breaks into the most absurd story about going on a vampire hunt on Christmas’s day and finding a centuries old relic and how Alex still can’t look at her aunt’s eyes to this day and it’s the most ridiculous thing Jonas has ever heard and he can’t help but laugh. And Ren laughs too, and, because the brownies probably didn’t wear off yet, when he stops to take a breath he rests his body against Jonas’s.

It’s not cuddling, not exactly, but Ren is small and warm and when he rests his head on Jonas’s shoulder he can feel the smell of shampoo coming from his hair, and it’s the nicest thing he’s felt the entire night, so he lets him. He can feel his heart beating faster, for once not because of the ghosts – it’s still scary, but it’s a nice type of scary that Jonas doesn’t mind feeling. He feels a smiling forming on the corner of his lips, and he thinks maybe that’s how Ren does it, maybe that’s why it’s so easy for him.

Jonas can still hear him talking, starting a different story this time, and he closes his eyes and, for a moment, he thinks it’s all going to be okay.

-

_“And it’s Jonas? Not Jonah?”_

_“Yeah, Jonas. Like Jonas Salk?”_

_“Right, patient zero, AIDS guy.”_

Behind them, Alex collapses onto the floor, her hands clenched into fists as she punches the ferry’s deck, frantically whispering to herself _no, no, it can’t be, it was supposed to_ …

Jonas is always wrong.

-

Sometimes, Ren doesn’t remember at all. So through most of the night, watching Alex and Jonas, he feels like there’s something off with them, that maybe they’re taking that whole “let’s talk to ghosts” thing a bit too serious. Then when the crap hits the fan, he gets so scared he eats a second brownie just to cool off a bit, and when Jonas hears it it seems like he just heard he murdered someone. It pisses him off, and it pisses him off even more to have to stay there while Alex and Nona go off to find the key, so he just sulks in a corner and doesn’t say anything.

Then, after a while, Jonas stutters an apology, and he says he doesn’t want them to keep fighting like this, and Ren doesn’t really get it, because it’s not like they were fighting before. Still, he appreciates the olive branch and apologizes too. Jonas smiles sadly and say that it isn’t important, that he’s got nothing to apologize for, but Ren cuts him off and says _I called you a weirdo, that wasn’t really my finest moment_. Then he adds that _it isn’t true, really_ , and he doesn’t thinks Jonas is a meathead either – actually, he seems a lot smarter than most of the cool guys he knows, _which, you know, is definitely a good thing_.

And then Jonas actually laughs, smiling honestly for a moment, and he looks at Ren with those beautiful, shiny eyes – light-green because he just laughed, Ren notices, and he decides he likes them better that way. He’s high enough to say it out loud, and Jonas blushes and stares at him for a moment like he’s thinking. Then he stands up and walks to Ren and sits by his side. Ren feels his heart rushing even though their bodies don’t touch, and Jonas taps onto the floor anxiously before slowly reaching towards Ren’s hand and covering it with his own. His fingers are shaking and Ren can tell he’s nervous – and he’s Jonas, so if he’s nervous, Ren kind of gets nervous too, that good type of nervous feeling of butterflies making a party on his stomach and his heart dancing along to the music.

They hold hands and Ren feels himself smiling until Jonas asks if he remembers. He doesn’t.

-

Every time, they fall in love.

Every time, they forget it.

-

Ren talks a lot, and for Jonas it’s the only thing that keeps him sane anymore, Ren’s annoying voice and his silly gestures and big, hopeful brown eyes. He can’t bring himself to stop watching him, and he can’t bring himself to stop feeling scared and nervous and anxious and exploding right when nobody needs him to. Ren is annoying and precious and pisses him off and he wishes he could control it, really, just one time not to yell at him like that, but he never manages it. Ren is beautiful and infuriating and clueless, and he’s always all those things at once and it always makes Jonas furious. He’s lost count of how many times they’ve done this by now, and he sees Alex looking so tired she seems like she’s going to faint before they even reach the cave.

So he gets angry and snaps, calls Ren a burnout, says it’s all his fault – and then Ren says it’s actually _his_ fault and that stings, really, because deep down Jonas thinks he might be right.

-

Ren breaks the silence, and Jonas has to laugh because it’s a dick joke and they’re in the Dick Harden Tower. His eyes are still dark, though, and Ren looks at him and doesn’t get it - and then he feels the weight of the sky falling over his back, his head spins and he feels like he needs to throw up.

 _We’ve been here before_ , he says, and Jonas looks at him so shocked he can’t seem to speak, which is fine, because Ren fills the silence for both of them. _It usually takes more for it to hit me_ , he says, and Jonas stares at him confusedly, seeming like he’s about to burst into tears, which freaks Ren out so he approaches him and takes his hand and says _this is the last time, that’s why I remembered so soon, that’s gotta be it_.

Ren is also always wrong.

-

Sometimes, they kiss. It’s awkward and strange and Jonas feels extra embarrassed because he guesses he should be the most experienced one, but he really isn’t, and when Ren holds his hand and looks at him with those brown eyes and presses his mouth onto his he doesn’t immediately know what to do. Sometimes he squeezes Ren’s hand and pulls him closer, opening his mouth for their tongues to touch, and Ren is too eager and Jonas is too nervous and it’s wonderful. Other times, he freaks out and pulls back, and Ren looks at him terrified for a moment before Jonas smiles and he smiles back, and they laugh a little at themselves before kissing again, and it’s perfect. Ren’s mouth tastes like those weird weed brownies he hated so much, and Jonas’s beanie falls a bit to the side when Ren touches his hair, and they laugh again, against each other’s mouths this time, and it’s a mess of spit and teeth and they hold each other closer and pray that, just this once, they don’t forget again.

-

Sometimes Alex takes his side and he sees the hurt in Jonas’s eyes flash for a quick second before he just sulks for rest of the evening. Other times, she takes his side, and Ren feels surprised even though he shouldn’t, really, because of how close they are. Most of the time, though, she tells them both to shut up and asks Nona to come with her to look for the key.

Once, Nona refuses.

Everyone just looks at her for a moment and even she seems a bit shocked before composing herself and saying _we’re doing this wrong_. And Ren opens his mouth to ask but she immediately continues and says _we’ve been looking for Maggie, we need Anna_. Ren doesn’t know who Anna is, but Alex’s face lights up like a Christmas’s tree and she takes off, running down the stairs of the Harden Tower faster than Ren has ever seen her run.

Jonas looks lost, too, but not as lost as him, and Nona looks at both of them and says they should wait there, all of them. She doesn’t say anything else, because she seems too tired to, so she just sits near the control panel and joins her hand together as in a silent pray. Ren doesn’t get it, doesn’t know what’s she’s praying to, but he feels Jonas shaking next to him and he can tell he’s nervous – and he’s Jonas, so if he’s nervous, Ren needs to calm him down. So he takes Jonas’s hand and intertwines their fingers together.

They hold each other’s hands tightly.

-

Jonas remembers when Alex does. So when she rushes out of the tower after Nona’s words, he doesn’t really understand it, but he thinks about the feeling of his head spinning and wanting to throw up and he imagines that never going away for a second and still having to stand up and try, and he’s pretty sure Alex is the strongest person he knows. He told her they would figure it out, he remembers suddenly, and he was always wrong, so this time he doesn’t say anything, just follows Nona’s instructions and waits.

Ren comes up near him and holds his hand, and Jonas squeezes his palm so hard it hurts.

-

Once, Alex comes back in the morning.

Ren is usually the last to forget.  So when the sun is shining bright and they walk towards the boat with a strange carefulness they’ve never felt before, he watches everyone closely. He sees Clarissa crossing her arms around herself, Nona resting her back against the ferry’s cabin and taking deep breaths, Alex walking slowly but confidently to the front of the boat.

Jonas is right next to him, and Ren steps closer and takes his hand, watching as his light-green eyes stare into the horizon ahead of them with that scary, torturing hope.

The ferry starts moving, and they all wait.

Alex takes a step forward and throws the radio into the ocean.

-

Ren wants to say something, anything, so he pulls him closer, squeezes his hand tight, smiling so much it’s hard to talk, and whispers _I remember_ , and Jonas looks at him and opens a tiny, beautiful smile and whispers _Me too_.

-

Every time, they fall in love.

This time, they don’t let go.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed reading! i'm obsessed with these two and i had to write something about them. i'd love to hear your thoughts about it. and if you want to, you can find me at my tumblr: [x](http://elcorhamletlive.tumblr.com/)


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